Fascinations

It's been so long since I wrote and I realised that most of my time these days has been on what I think I should do , rather than what I enjoy doing. Why is not ok to admit you enjoy sleeping, eating, reading and watching TV. Is it because others judge you for defining these activities as 'being lazy' . This preconceived notion of what someone needs to do , will that achieve the inner happiness I am looking for. What is more important is always observing and learning. Learning can be passive, active and dormant . Passive learning is in the form of inactivity as I mentioned above by observing. Active learning is when we reach out to people or things because of our hunger for knowledge. Dormant learning happens mostly when we just live. We have learnt to breathe, to see and copy , express and sleep.

This brings me to the question of self worth and what I define as happiness. Birds singing fascinates me, human behavior fascinates me, greenery fascinates me, the sift feel of wind on my body fascinates me, and living in an imaginary world with everyone smiling makes me happy. What saddens me is injustice, cruelty, selfishness and a world of hatred. 

Is there anything to do... sighh

Are big cities only about going to malls, shopping , eating out . Trying to find something exciting to do one a holiday and it takes 45 mins to find out what all events are happening in town. Why is it not made easy. And before you know it, its night time and next day work.

Can we invent some indoor fun games . Its time to be creative and make the most of a rainy day . Too lazy to get out , and too bored to not to anything about it.

Is it time to be a coach  potato , or do something constructive. or watch a silly movie for the sake of watching one.
going to a grocery shop isnt fun at all for just one thing- lines are crazy on a holiday.

So what do we do ... sighhh

Time to spend on hobbies you enjoy , read, write, cook, explore yourself once again.

Mahakumbh Mela- The organization of the decade and experience of a lifetime

We went to the Mahakumbh with a lot of expectations yet a bit nervous, scared of stampedes , crowds, dirtiness by the Ganges while bathing . However lo behold , it was one of the most pleasant experiences. Acres and acres of land- now a bit desserted since most of the saints had left by the time we reached, however the skeletons gave us a good picture of what had been- stray huts, huge Shivas murthi, tents with posters. Our luck favoured us and we were able to see one akhara - full with their guest waiting room, dorm style rooms for the saints, havan area, and ram leela preperation in a brightly coloured red tent.

For us a bath in the river Ganges was the purpose of the visit. The next day we got up early to rush by the ghats. Getting a boat man to take us across was troublesome- none of them wanted to take us on our quoted price ( told to us by locals ) and added a 60 % hike to what we quoted. I just could understand why such a fuss when we all had to go to such a holy place. After a lot of haggling we let the boat man win and agreed on his amount .

Our minds were filled with fury and anger but as soon as we reached the place for bathing, everything was forgotten! We spent two hours . There were a hundred people or more bathing, but noone pushed , everyone kept to their space and did their puja in contentment. The water was so clean n pure and as soon as dipped ourselves in , the coolness of the water brushed against our bodies and we felt the inner peace we had come for. Smiles on all our faces. It was a moment , nothing could describe it. My heart was filled with ecstacy . And I just prayed for all my loved ones, with me and away, feeling soo lucky to have been dipping in the holy waters with my parents .

We are what we are only cause of God and our parents and we should never forget that.

Life complications

Is Life as complicated as we make it. Cant it just be simple and straight forward. We love adding different specimens and worrying about what can happen without really enjoying what is happening . Who knows what life has for us , and all we need is belief in ourselves to make it happen. If you have been true to yourself , follow your heart. Life always throws us choices. It is which choices to make that we can be confident about and not scared about.

We all live once and we should just let go,  without thinking and overthinking about what ifs. The society is capable to take care of themselves and so are you. One should only be god fearing , not people fearing. If people have to say something they will, if people have to be jealous they will be, if people have to be insensitive and mean they will , even if you dont feel they should. But it is their insecurities that are talking, that you donot need to cater to.

We always live trying to fulfill everyones expectations but never stop to think what are our own expectations of ourselves and are we fulfilling those. Is image soo important that you forget your happiness.

Peace of mind is most important without which nothing is possible and some decisions you have to leave it on the person to make for themselves.

Confusion

Soo many things to do but so little time to get it done. I always thought at my age and stage i would have achieved soo much more, knew exactly what I wanted out of life and everything would be planned out and I just had to follow a certain path. But life is unexpected and dynamic. The direction you want to move , is affected by a number of different circumstances.

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a policewoman, lawyer, a detective and what did I eventually ended up doing is being a boring corporate professional . Is this all I want of life or there is much more. When i thought I had it all figured and ventured into CSR , I only realised that I am a pseudo CSR person- who wants to do community work but only if its restricted to urban organizations- does that really make me an actual CSR person.

After much speculation I realised I could do what i enjoy most- mentoring young people and incorporating CSR in whichever department I am in. People go for years trying to find their passion. I feel my passion will keep changing over time and adapt according to what I want at that time.

Is this confusion only of one me - a woman approaching her 30s or its for all of us youth , who r just impatient with ourselves .

New beginnnings!

Did I really know what was CSR when I saw the posting first on my company Intranet but it seemed to be the new buzz word. This New year I had decided that it was time to take calcuted risks, follow my passion and dreams and live a life that i want to make , rather than what i felt had been designed for me. It was a jump which I had to make , but was it part of who i really was. The question was who was I, what made me happy, what fluctuated my moods, what gave me a high. After thorough introspection - the one thing that came in my mind was my experience at Salaam Baalak and children - i had to find a job that blended my passion for teaching and love for kids - was this what i had been waiting for all my life!

Two months into my new role , I know the answer to some of my questions - CSR is my true calling, its what makes me happy and give me the high i was soo looking for all my adult years. Just being able to give smiles around - makes me soo satisfied and has giving life a new meaning, a new beginning.

My dreams look more real now and I feel more at peace with myself. Is this what they call Content!

Real Time Cinema

Drama used to sell but now it seems Natural freshness is the flavour of the season. From Delhi Belly to F.A.L.T.U type of films , Bollywood cinema has demonstrated that elaborated sets , costumes , high budget is not that important for a film to be successful. It is important that the story line is simple and the characters depict normal situations. Classic films from the stone age- where rich marries poor and violence emerge or double , triple classifications of 'middle class' are outdated and boring , and have no relevance to what life is all about. Life is more about the struggles of a normal person, a college student, work pressures and wanting the best for your family. The basic question is - why do people go to see films . Is it cause they depict a fantasy world, a world they cant seem to relate to or solutions to life problems. People want answers all the time, and how to deal with issues and movies is a great platform which can give us clues to real time . Amazing cinema is one who can understand the audience and gives the customer what they want. Ekta Kapoor- who has been dethroned has understood the value of this- monopolizing is not the best way to be the best. But to be aware of competition and improving ones quality accordingly is what is called 'learning'. Stone age thinking or Real Time Cinema. Need to decide what you want to watch and implement. Bollywood  or Hollywood- cinema is cinema.